the brightest rain drop

Another summer season is slowing down. I’ve mentioned the concept of seasonal tourist economy and its effects on job availability and salaries, haven’t I? Long work hours. Lots of customer service. Lots of mate rounds to keep sleepy eyes open and wilted smiles fresh.

We all started the season with eager faces and attitudes, ready and willing to put our all into our jobs. Everything was new and fun. And with my job even more so. I absolutely loved it. But now as we’re approaching the two month tick on the calendar, I’m starting to observe certain changes in moods and attitudes.

It’s interesting to see how people deal with boredom, stress and unhappiness. When routine takes over and life loses its glamour. When you allow yourself to be consumed with thoughts of past and future. Or of other places. People. And you lose the lust of the moment.

Passion. Love. Enjoyment of the little gems of everyday life.

Like climbing a tree and entering into a wonderland of glossy, succulent, red orbs hanging in clusters less than an arm’s reach from your mouth. You sit on a sturdy branch, make yourself comfortable, and then begin devouring by the handful. The day is a flawless blue; not even a whisper of a cloud between the mountain peaks. Your neighbors chirp as if celebrating the mere existence of life, as they too feast on ripe berries, leaving nothing more than the naked pit hanging from the slender stem. You can’t help smiling at the beauty of it all and a small happy chill runs up your spine. You feel at ease. You feel perfection. You feel love.

Or

Like riding a bike through a calm Patagonian night. A beach bike with high handlebars and a comfy seat, so you sit straight up. All that is missing is the basket in front with a few daisies peaking out. But it is 3 o’clock in the morning, and all good little daisies are home asleep anyway. It’s odd, you think, to see this normally traffic encrusted road completely void of rumbling motors, eye scorching exhaust fumes, abrasive honking, and wildly colorful insults. In fact the only sounds are quiet mechanical workings of the bike, wind in your hair, and the occasional territorial dog excited by your apparent invasion of private property. A quick glance up to the starry sky is enough to provoke a gasp and have you clinging to the bike for stability. The night is warm, for Bariloche, and the sky is full of uninterrupted starlight. The rhythmic pedaling motion sends your body into autopilot and your mind into a passive overdrive. You’re here, but elsewhere. Concentrated, but relaxed. It is yet another perfect moment. Like every moment. But you are aware of its beauty and magic. And that’s the difference.

Sometimes it’s all about living the moment. Loving each second and being completely immersed in whatever you may be doing. Whatever it is, it can be enjoyed. Whether it’s waiting for the bus, lounging on the beach, sitting in the tent listening to the rain coming down, flying through the trees yelling louder and louder each time, cooking pasta, cudding with mate and a loved one watching a bad movie… whatever it is, it is to be lived and loved. So if you find yourself losing your smile or grumbling about rainstorms, price inflation, traffic jams, or burnt pizza remember that attitude is contagious. The biggest change we can make is from within. Let’s live positively. Focusing not on the darkest cloud, but rather on the brightest rain drop.

a moment in time and thought

Sitting on the shore of lake Nahuel Huapi. Passing a cold beer between two pairs of hands. Subtle waves colliding with the polished beached rocks. Countless stars burning indifferently to two individuals millions of light years away. The blossoming conversation was not the only communication between the two. Fingers tossed rocks into the icy waters unconsciously keeping the beat to a ongoing love story.

The constant struggle to find balance, meaning, love, truth, wisdom, and peace.

The conversation oscillated circling around hard-to-reach topics. Growing, changing, budding, diminishing. The girl found herself caught in the constant pull towards balance. Fighting to find the equilibrium between comfort and growth. On one hand a desire to explore, to dive into the next adventure head first at a moment’s notice, to live and love, to sing a different melody, to feel security in the insecure. On the other a newfound sense of comfort and security. A sensation only accomplished by relative stability, longevity, and personal connections in one geographical place. How can one satisfy both opposing desires simultaneously?

Cognitive dissonance. A disconnect and apparent struggle for power between mind and body. Much like bungee jumping, thought the girl. Your mind has evaluated the risks involved and is determined to jump. The consciousness is thrilled with the flood of adrenaline to the brain. The love of adventure asks the age-old question: why not? But your body does not agree. Your eyes see the immeasurable distance to fall. Your ears hear the wind blowing far below your shaking feet. Your shoes do not move. The body deems it highly undesirable to hurl itself into a free fall. There exists a moment of pause. Two equal and opposite forces pulling an individual. The result: stalling.

The curiosity begins with the origin and central hub of all this struggle. The brain. Simultaneously the brain is both analyzing the situation from a rational standpoint and from a physical stand point. I present our two protagonists: the conscious and the unconscious. Consciously we have decided to (and paid even..) to have the experience of throwing ourselves from a high place, falling down to the ground, only to be jolted back up on an elastic rope. We have calculated risks, knowledge of prior experiences, and even (perhaps) the pressure of our peers. At the end of these processes, we have concluded that we would like to partake in this activity for the thrill of the adrenaline.

Objection. The body holds up a red flag. Unbeknownst to us it has been doing its own calculations. Centuries of evolution have favored instincts based on survival. Throwing oneself off of great heights is not favorable. The body wants nothing to do with this madness. These processes are also occurring and developing in the brain.

The brain is home to many many diverse processes. And now I see that many are contradictory. This struggle leads to a moment (a split second or even a few minutes, hours, weeks, years) of inactivity. What to do?

Can this observation be applied to other facets of life? For example the struggle of our female character.

She finds herself in a situation. Wanting a change. Wanting to plan for the unpredictable future. Wanting some stability and security, but spontaneity and excitement. She is in limbo. She is in the period of calm and uncertainty before the electrical storm. She wants a million things. She desires conflicting paths. She needs a push.

In less than two months, she will leave. She has convinced herself that a two month deadline is a necessary evil. Whether or not she will leave alone. No matter where she decides to set her compass. If she is ready or not. She will leave. And that causes a thunder storm of emotions.

Next chapter here we come. Uncertainty is inevitable.

i have a new job